Pure Impossibilities

Impossibility # 1: The Yankees will make the postseason

For some reason, a few fans are hanging on to the idea that the Sox will lose their next games and the Yanks will sweep the Jays, setting up a super-intense and totally unseen showdown at Fenway to determine the winner of the AL Wild Card. Why anyone would subject themselves to such false hopes is beyond me. I mean, the probability that the Yanks sweep someone on the road and the Sox fall into a slump at Fenway (haha!) has got to be pretty much nonexistent. So, although it would make one hell of a story, let's not kid ourselves that much; we've been through enough torment this season as it is.

Impossibility #2: Heroes will actually become a quality show

It's the show I love to hate, but I couldn't imagine that two hours of the new season would give me so much to dislike already. First off, why are they messing with time travel again? It's bad enough that this is a plot device that should instantly be scrapped unless handled extremely carefully (Heroes doesn't do this, of course, and as a result the device ends up looking paradoxical and sloppy). But it's even worse that they've used it to open up every season thus far. Do the writers even try to be creative? So now we have our third Heroes season with just as many time paradoxes! Awesome guys. Just awesome.

So premise of the season aside, there were still tons more issues with the episodes. Let me just list them for brevity:

• Why does no one ever die?
  
• ...like Nikki? How the hell is she alive and why is she someone different and how did she establish a government job in a few week's time and WHY CAN SHE FREEZE PEOPLE?
  
• Although I appreciated Sylar subtly revealing that he doesn't eat brains ("Now Clair, that would be disgusting"), that scene was absolutely ridiculous.
  
• In fact, everything leading up to that scene was, too. The guy has psychokinesis and a host of other abilities, and you run and hide in a closet? And, wait for it: it worked. I thought the writers were off their strike?
  
• ...or maybe they are, since they're back to their same failed tricks. Such as separating all 1,546 characters. What else will Parkman in Africa do other than take time away from the main story?
  
• Hiro's plot device was incredible forced. "Don't open the safe!" So he opens the safe. "Don't lose the formula!" So he loses the formula...and then fails in the prime opportunity to get it back by being polite with the thief. Then he does his own time thing (again!) and jumps into action. These devices are getting so old...
  
• Mohinder is a total idiot. 'Nuff said.
  

That's all I feel like typing at the moment, but seriously--this show is trying to do too much with a weak effort. That can only spell disaster. Yet, you can bet that I'll be there every Monday at 9pm watching the damn thing. Hey, at least the actresses are all amazingly attractive.